If you want to change an area of your life, start with the smallest habit you can consistently do to move you in that direction.

Seeing is believing.

Personally, this strategy has been effective with fitness, academic, and business goals.

If you want to run a marathon, start by consistently running 1 mile, 3-5 times per week.

If you want to learn a new language, commit to learning 5 new words per week in said language.

If you want to improve your overall health, start by eating 1 “healthy meal” per week.

Shout out to James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits.

Our behaviors reinforce our belief of who we are and what we are capable of.

If you want to be “healthy,” do something consistently that a “healthy person” would do, and you will begin to believe that you are capable of “being healthy.”

Seeing is believing.

However,

I have recently observed a “snag” in this perfectly woven sweater.

I was talking to a friend recently who, with downcast eyes, told me she had yelled at one of her kids and made him cry. She was ashamed that she had lost her temper. Moreover, she seemed almost embarrassed to tell me.

I don’t have kids, but I can only imagine, based on her body language, this is how the story was playing out in her mind. “I am someone who yells at my kids, therefore, I am a bad mother”.

Seeing is believing.

So, this has me thinking. Is it always good to believe what you see? Or are there situations where it is better to believe what you don’t see?

Faith is defined as belief with strong conviction; firm belief in something for which there may be no tangible proof; complete trust, confidence, reliance, or devotion. Faith is the opposite of doubt. (Attribution)

Setting “religion” aside, we ALL have faith in something. For some it is chakras, or “spirits”, or “a gut feeling”.

And

We all know someone with a strong “faith” that dramatically impacts their behaviors.

The bible says that God created man and women in His image.  However, you don’t have to look very far to see a “Christian” acting “ungodly”.  So, does this mean “Christians” are hypocrites? Deceivers”? or Frauds?

Yes, they exist. However, I believe they are few and far between. There are far easier ways to “earn a living”.

Nope, I am of the camp that believes it isn’t “deception”, but “distraction”. “Godly” humans, distracted by “ungodly behavior”.

“Behavior-led-identity,” says, “I need to behave in a certain way to demonstrate my faith.” In other words, I need to “work” to earn my identity in Christ. 

On the other hand, “Creator-led-identity” says “My Christ-like behavior is an outward expression of my belief in the unseen spirit within me”.  Identity over and above behavior. 

Now, does this mean you can “have faith” that you are a kind person without acting like one?

Or

Can you just “believe” you are “healthy” and continue eating “unhealthy”?

Yes. More importantly, it will have zero impact on your God-given identity.

The problem is that “sub-optimal” behaviors have consequences. Amongst the list of consequences is how they slowly erode our self-esteem. At worst, they lead to shame and guilt and often lead us to “medicate” with more “sub-optimal behaviors.” Hence, a vicious downward spiral. 

On the other hand, choosing the “ideal behavior” has far greater power in strengthening our belief in something we can’t see.

In other words,

“Seeing” is strengthening your belief in the “unseen”.

You don’t have to be a “Christian” to have faith. In fact, I am convinced you can’t be a human without having a belief in something you can’t see.

So, if you already have faith in something……

What if you started each day believing you are enough? That you are NOT “broken”,  “flawed”, “undisciplined”, “angry”, “inpatient”, or “unkind”?

What if, you started each day (and set multiple reminders throughout the day) believing you are kind, generous, self-controlled, disciplined, patient, and loving?

And,

When you “fail”, you uncouple that from your God-given identity?

How might your thoughts, feelings, and emotions about said “suboptimal behavior” change?

And in turn,

How might this impact your future behaviors?