It’s all good.

I don’t know about you, but I get slightly irritated when I am in the midst of a difficult situation and a well-meaning friend tries to be helpful with such statements as “it’s all good”, or “no stress”, or “don’t sweat the small stuff”.

Half of me wants to slam an imaginary door in their face and the other half of me, strangely, wants to inquire about the “Kool-Aid”.

You see, I have a love-hate relationship with my anxiety.

On the one hand, my anxiety has served me well to avoid all the catastrophes I create in my imagination.

However, on the other hand, anxiety sometimes makes me a little impulsive and slightly more “reactive” than is optimal.

On the weekends, I like to wake up early and go for a nice long walk or run, depending on how I feel. This past Saturday, I woke up and, with a slight blur in my vision, read 7 am on my dimly backlit watch. This was well past my desired wake up time of 530. I jumped out of bed like the house was on fire, put on my workout clothes as I walked down the hallway, threw on my shoes, secured my hair into a ponytail while simultaneously starting my walk down the driveway. I was hitting the pavement by 710. Mission accomplished. I think.

Not five minutes into the walk, a thought hit me like a Mac truck: IT’S SATURDAY! Tara, you literally have no place to be for hours. It’s the weekend……. It’s all good.

I can’t explain it, but I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I have this unimpressive ability to turn anything enjoyable into work…….in other words, a “can do” (enjoyable activity) morphs into a “must do”.

Let me introduce you to my good friend anxiety.

The broadest and most commonly used definition of anxiety is an unease triggered by a perceived threat.

Of course, this is a good thing and keeps us safe if, for example, we wake up to glass breaking in the middle of the night.

However, it can also be the thief of peace.

Peace is freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.

Disquieting is marked by or causing agitation or uncomfortable feelings.

Disquieting is exactly that. It is noise. Noise that distracts. Noise that confuses. Noise that interferes with our ability to see life clearly.

Disquieting thoughts can and will disable the most well thought out plan from ever coming to fruition………

I have the rare opportunity of working with people who are arguably in the worst season of their life.

I have had many encounters with those who sincerely believe…. “it’s all good”. The energy they bring into the room is nothing short of supernatural. And in fact, that’s exactly what I believe it is. It is not of natural origin. In my experiences with such folks, this inner peace is seemingly contagious. You can’t help but feel calm being in their presence……….

It is as if they have a banner scrolling across their forehead….. “Tara, I am ok. Tara, you are ok. We are all going to be ok. Life is all good.”…….

There once was a prince who went on a hunting trip with his servant friend. The servant made a mistake loading the rifle resulting in the prince having his thumb blown off. In the prince’s outrage, he sentenced his friend to life in prison sending him to the dungeon.  Several years later, the prince went out alone on a hunting trip and was captured by a group of cannibals who tied him up and were about to roast him when they noticed he was missing a finger. Apparently, this group believed that eating a “whole-less” man was bad mojo, so they released him. Once the prince realized his servant friend was responsible for saving his life, he returned to the dungeon to apologize and set his friend free. He begged his friend for forgiveness and told him what had happened. The friend’s response was, “It’s all good”. In the prince’s confusion he asked his friend, “aren’t you mad at me”? His friend responded, “My friend, if you had not locked me away for all these years, I too, would have been with you on that hunting trip. With my ten fingers and toes, I would have been burned and eaten”.  (paraphrased from The Unconventional Heatlhcare Hero, Jeffrey Labian)

I have heard it said that one cause of anxiety is when our expectations do not match our perceived reality of the moment.

If this is true, it is easy to recognize how the “overcome anxiety” strategies develop.

One of my favorites is trying to change reality…… “if I just work a little bit harder at this thing, all my expectations in life will match my reality”. Mission accomplished.

And I can’t forget my next personal go-to……. “reframing”.  Change your perception of reality and all is right with the world. “Peace” restored.

And, although effective, there is one little problem. “Peace” becomes conditional. Conditional on my circumstances. And/or “conditional” on my “clarity of thought”. Insert image of blurry eyed, Saturday morning Tara.

But then there is God, who offers an inner peace that is free, always available, and transcends our human understanding.

Some followers of Jesus might believe that anxiety is “bad”. I disagree.

I believe anxiety can be a gift. It is a noise that reminds us that we have lost sight of the creator of the universe. The One and only who knit you together in your mother’s womb. The One who had every day numbered before your existence. The One who is behind the scenes working EVERYTHING out for the good of those who follow Him.

I may never get to the point where my immediate reaction to an “unexpected late wake-up” isn’t the same as one would respond to a four-alarm fire.

And,

No one can deny that “working” toward a goal that will change our reality isn’t important. Moreover, that “reframing” isn’t valuable.

But,

Nothing compares to the peace of our loving, caring, compassionate, forgiving, father in Heaven who gives us the most simple instructions in all the bible……

“Be still, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

And

“Peace I leave with you; my peace, I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

And as Jesus was preparing the disciples for his death…..

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. John 16:31

When was the last time you remember feeling anxious about a situation?

What was the “noise” level?

Was it helpful?

If not, why wasn’t it helpful?

When was the last time you remember being at peace? How did that make you feel? How did that effect your behaviors?

How can you start to increase the number of moments you experience peace?