“If you aren’t struggling, you aren’t growing”

I dislike that statement more than most.

You see, I am a “comfort seeker”. I don’t really enjoy feeling physical or emotional discomfort.

This is probably the truest with how my younger self selected most “life pursuits.” For example, when I was younger, I was quick to quit sports when I realized I wasn’t good and wouldn’t be successful. In those instances, it wasn’t the physical discomfort of the sport I was running from, it was the emotional discomfort of the uncertainty of the outcome.

It is not uncommon for a patient I see in person to look at me like I have three heads and wonder if I am from planet Earth. This usually occurs when I challenge someone with an “absurd activity”……… “You are crazy, I could never do that”.  The fact that this is pure joy to my ears has no doubt played into the “negative rep” that can sometimes be attached to physical therapists. And yes, I know what “PT actually stands for”. 😉 But I degress….

But in all seriousness, contrary to what you might believe, we “negotiate” for all the right reasons….

I have been working with a patient for several months, during which “negotiation” tactics are probably deployed during most sessions.  Here is how our typical session goes….. I start by asking him to try rolling onto his stomach; he responds with a hard “no”; I say try; he tries once and gets frustrated and asks to stop; I ask for him to try again; he tries again and eventually rolls onto his stomach.

Here is the take-away. Within 60 minutes he is now doing a valuable skill that 60 minutes ago he couldn’t do or even attempt.

But this isn’t our first time at this back and forth “negotiation”. We have done the same thing with standing, walking, single leg standing, lifting a “weak” leg, sitting onto a gym ball, stepping up a step……. And on and on. Same back and forth conversation. Every. Single. Time. Same outcome. Every. Single. Time.

Here is the reality. If you have a mobility due to a neurologic injury, quitting is ALWAYS an option. It is the option you have when getting out of bed is difficulty and you have a loving caregiver who is willing to help you.

Quitting is an option when you are putting on a shirt and your head gets stuck in an arm hole and a loving caregiver is there to assist.

Quitting is an option when you think you have eaten all the food on your plate and you are still hungry and a loving caregiver is there to help you figure out where the other half of your plate is. If you know, you know.

Quitting is always available.

Feeling frustrated is a normal part of the process.

Here is the uncomfortable truth. If you are not feeling frustrated on a daily basis after a neurologic injury, you are “quitting” at something.

Now, is “quitting” bad? Absolutely not. In fact, I have had many patients over the years who reached a point where their quality of life at their current abilities was way better than the frustration of working toward a new “mobility” goal.

However, here is an equally important truth.

You can be better than you are today. Growth is possible.

But it won’t happen without your consent. One definition of consent is “to be of the same mind or opinion”

I am honored that the patient mentioned above trusts me. And believes me when I say, “yes you can”. Sometimes multiple times in a given session.

But more than that, here is what I learned…..

To grow, you must first make sure you are hyperfocused on what is possible and do everything you can to ignore all the thoughts telling you why you can’t or shouldn’t.

I will go so far as to say, when you are doing your rehab exercises you must also ignore all the thoughts reminding you that you have had a neurologic injury. Your thoughts will direct the outcome.

If you are doing your exercises and there is even the slightest grain of sand saying “my brain is damaged”, I can guarantee you that the thought, “my brain is damaged”, will win the moment. Every. Single. Time.

Here is a little experiment you can try….. If you have a weak arm, try and work on reaching while at the same time thinking “I can’t reach because my brain is damaged”.

Now try it again and focus all your attention on getting your hand slightly further forward and/or upward.

Which do you think is more effective? If you want to continue to make progress, you MUST expect that you WILL make progress (making sure first that whatever you are working on is safe).

What are you expecting you can accomplish this week? Month? Year?

Write it down and look at the list every day. Visualize yourself doing the movement or the activity. There is no room for “I can’t” or “but if only…..” or “yeah, but…….”.

You either think and believe you can or you don’t (again, given that you have adequate insight into your limitations and whatever you are working on, you have safety parameters in place).

Either way you will be right.

You must choose to embrace the discomfort of uncertainty. The discomfort of not having the answer. The discomfort of occasional “overwhelm”. The discomfort of the possibility of “failing”. If you aren’t uncomfortable mentally, physically, and emotionally on a pretty regular basis, you aren’t growing.

I write all of this for you as well as for myself. I can’t tell you first hand, this is what stops me dead in my tracks everytime I hit a “snag” in my progress. It is not easy to ignore the voice, but it is possible. Keep going! You can be 1% better tomorrow than you are today.