I am a “fixer”.

I see problems or potential problems and I immediately jump in headfirst to “fix” said problem.

I can also sometimes be an “avoider”. Look ahead to avoid potential problems.

Finally, and most importantly, I am NOT a “tread-er.” Rarely do I find it enjoyable to sit idly in times of “trials”.

This is on full display every day on my commute to work. I have a standard route—the route with the multilane roads. However, the “gameplan” changes to slower back roads during rush hour.  Still coming out “ahead.” Accidents are also worked into the formula avoiding those at all costs.

The morning commute is the ultimate game. A game that I must “win”. The sense of elation when I “beat” my time (while not violating any traffic laws) can’t be understated.

As a physical therapist, my job is a game as well.  A  game I love. I love it when a patient learns a new daily living skill and no longer needs to rely on a caregiver. I love it when someone is out of pain and can return to swimming or playing golf. I love seeing fear turn into confidence and despair into hope. I love it all.

I have the fortunate opportunity to help a lot “fixers”. “Give me the best exercises to get out of my uncomfortable situation”.

AND

I also help an equal amount of “avoiders”. “Tell me what to do so that I will NEVER return to that uncomfortable experience”.

In both instances, the game is the same. “Win”.

The teams are clear: peace, happiness, “comfort,” contentment, joy versus…… “suffering.” Needless to say, I am a devout supporter of “team A”. Give me “peace and comfort”. All day, every day.

That said, my knee-jerk reaction to problems or potential problems is a foolproof “game plan.” Build the team, develop the playbook, and execute. The mission? “Outscore” the opponent – suffering.

For some, “suffering” is an unbeatable opponent. Peace and comfort are no match to the bigger, stronger, faster, and more skillful “opposition”.  Peace is drowned out by the sheer magnitude of the “trial”.

But there are those rare individuals who seem to show unwavering “skill” and always seem to come out ahead. Peace and comfort keep pace regardless of the size or strength of the “trial”.

But how?

In the face of adversity,  sometimes are greatest “weapon” is “strategy” over “strength”.

I was talking to a mentor the other day, and as per his usual, he had to advise me to “be patient”. You see, I am not the most patient person when it comes to making decisions. I see a problem, and a potential solution and I immediately want to “fix it”.

I can be impatient. Especially when I believe there is a solution to get out of or avoid “suffering”.

“Out muscle” the opponent.

“Impatience is a rejection of the present moment on the grounds that it is marred and ought to be replaced by some more ideal imagined future. It is a rejection of the way things are, a rejection of reality.” Neel Burton, MD

Here is the hard truth.  We can’t eliminate the opponent, nor change the rules of the game.  To do so would mean we either deny or ignore the existence of our creator.  Our higher power.

Moreover, there will be times when we are outmatched in size and strength. We will try with all our might to change the rules of the game to no avail.

This is when it comes down to strategy.

You see, a continuous effort to “replace reality” is investing all your effort into changing the rules of the game. It is exhausting. And…. there are no guarantees that what we replace it with will necessarily be “better”.

To be “patient” means to bear or endure provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

Patience is NOT passive resignation. Patience is accepting the rules of the game and “enduring the pain of play”. This is how you win the game.

In the game of life there is SUFFERING. And there is “suffering”.  Regardless of the size, we all want a way out. Even Jesus Christ himself on his way to the cross said “remove this cup from my hand”.

But unfortunately, that is not how life works. The only option is to continue to play until the game clock runs out. At which point, if you are a believer, you win the ultimate prize.

Just prior to his death, Jesus meets with his disciples to prepare them for what is about to happen. He warns them that there will be challenging times ahead. He ends one such meeting with this:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Contrary to what some might believe, God never promises a life without suffering. However, He DOES promise that He will be with us on the journey.

I can spend all day choosing the best route to work. Thankfully, I am batting 100 on arriving safely. That said, I can recall many occasions where I had to “endure” a slow roll past a line of emergency vehicles in the aftermath of an accident believing “I pulled the wrong play from the playbook”.  On the other hand, I will never know if contrary to my belief, I actually pulled the right play at the perfect time. 

What are some areas in your life where you have practiced patience? What did that look like? How did your patience impact you and others?

What are some areas in our life where you were inpatient? What did that look like? How did your impatience impact you and others?