“The more in harmony with yourself you are, the more joyful you are and the more faithful you are. Faith is not to disconnect you from reality – it connects you to reality”. Paulo Coelho

Faith is believing in something you can’t see.

Of course, this is true for those “super spiritual types”.

But surely, in the game of life, reality is the better option.

I mean, I would rather assume that bear is going to eat me, rather than “faithfully” waiting around to see what happens.

On the other hand, maybe this “faith/reality” thing isn’t an “either/or”, but a “yes, and…..”

And beyond that, maybe believing what is “real” isn’t actually useful.

You will want to sit down for this one as I attempt to knit this yarn into a “useful” sweater.

I am in the process of learning Japanese. My mom is Japanese and it has always been a goal to be able to talk to her family in Japanese. And so, now in my mid-forties, it finally seems like the right time. 🫠

But Houston, we have a couple major problems…..

Japanese is the most difficult language for an American to learn.

And……

When it comes to “neuroplasticity”, age is not on my side.

But not to worry, I tell myself, “age is just a number”.  And more than that, early childhood exposure will surely help me “beat the odds”. Phew….. “faith” is on the scoreboard.

Motivation restored.

Until it happens….

I open the books this week and for the first time, I am not excited about all the things I have learned, but more so on the fact that there is far more that I haven’t.

Several months of my growing pride and excitement practicing with my (Japanese) family……. Balloon deflated.

My black and white thinking does its thing and before long….

On the scoreboard of my “growth mindset”…….

Reality – 2

Faith – 1

Can you relate?

Do your beliefs have an impact on your energy and motivation for growth?

If so, are you more of a “faith person” or a “reality” person”?

Maybe you are like me and a combination of both.

Enter a conversation between Mark Manson and Derek Severs on how our beliefs can be used as leverage to accomplish seemingly difficult goals. Brilliantly titled…..Useful, Not True.

I believe Derek has landed on the bullseye of this balance between reality and faith.

As Derek articulates in the interview, most of what we believe is true, is not actually true. And therefore to believe something that may or may not be true (reality) can be useful. For example, seeing a bear and believing that bear is going to eat me. I have never seen a bear eat a person, so I don’t know whether or not it’s true. But it might be useful to assume it is true to get the adrenaline boost to leave the situation.

Now that is an extreme example, but hopefully you get the point.

On the other hand, reality tells me there is a 1/71 chance I could be seriously injured in a car accident. That is a fact. Therefore, I should avoid cars. The statistic might be true, but is it helpful/useful? 🤷🏻‍♀️ If I believe there is a high probability I will be injured in a car accidence and this means I never get in another car…..maybe not.

Now, lets address the elephant in the room.

What if you didn’t voluntarily choose to learn another language.

What if you were involuntarily “chosen” for a major health crisis. Surely you should focus on the reality of your situation. Dig up all the statistics. Learn about your condition. Learn about your “prognosis”. Invest in only treatments that are “evidence based”.

Oh yes, “evidence”……..aka “the science”. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s not.

If you choose to believe evidence from 20 years ago, the science would have you believe the brain can’t “rewire” in adulthood. Today, the evidence suggests the brain can.

I might argue that if you suffered a stroke 20 years ago, you might have believed the brain is NOT “rewireable”.  And yes, this might have been true 20 years ago, but was it helpful given what we know today?

Do you spend time thinking about whether or not you will “recover”?

Do you spend time asking “experts” for a “prognosis”?

If so, will their answer be “the truth”?

Will the answer be helpful?

Here is the “truth”.

Some beliefs are absolutely true. On the other hand, some of our beliefs are most likely not.

It might be 1000% true that at my age, I should not be able to become fluent in the most difficult language for an American to learn. But that is not necessarily helpful if I want to continue to put in the work to learn Japanese. 

Most days I choose to believe that if I invest 5-8 hours/week studying, I will be able to learn the language. This is what gets me to open the books. But beyond that, I am enjoying the process because I believe my efforts are not in vain. 

Faith is not a separation from reality, but faith is what connects you and I to reality. More than that, faith keeps us in harmony as we pursue the seemingly impossible.

And maybe in the game of life, reality and faith are not on opposing teams, but teammates rowing the same boat. Faith and reality working together to move the boat forward. Reality might be a necessary teammate to navigate around obstacles (danger). And yes, “reality” is a useful. On the other hand, “faith” keeps the eyes fixed in the direction of the finish line. Maybe you can see it, but most likely you can’t. Faith’s job is to just keep rowing.

Where might it be helpful to lean on faith and keep your eyes in the direction of the finish line?

Where might you be focused too much on reality? If your eyes are fixed on “the facts”, is it actually true? If so, is it helpful?