When was the last time you remember having to think about how to retrieve a glass of water from a table?

If you are a healthy adult, probably never. You see, there are skills that require “motor planning”. However, most activities of daily living are automatic.  That is, until some component of that motor system is damaged.

One of the first skills we address in rehab is something we like to call “developing insight into one’s limitations”. You might think this is a “no-brainer”. If someone has a leg amputated, you think that person understands they only have one leg and will need to do things differently. If someone has a stroke, you might assume they know they are paralyzed on one side of the body and must do things differently (so they don’t fall and become injured). However, that is not the case.  Falls happen for two main reasons: Lack of physical ability (to stand). And, lack of insight into one’s limitations.  Without the knowledge that you are unable to do a seemingly simple task, “automaticity” can be the enemy that takes you down.

But telling someone they have a physical, mental and/or emotional limitation is no easy task.  And the reactions are across the board. Some people get angry. Others deny. Still others justify. And then their are the outliers.  The ones who succeed where others don’t.

But I don’t think this is only true in rehab. Having “insight into one’s limitations” can be the most essential “tool” to staying “upright” in life.

For some time now, I have been attempting to learn Japanese. I meet with my Japanese cousin once a week to “practice”. I get super frustrated that I can’t (yet) have a conversation. Worse, I can’t even remember how to say basic sentences (which is no problem when talking to my teacher).  When explaining this mental barrier to my teacher, his response was simple yet humbling. “Miki san (my Japanese name), you can talk about 3 things.  And ONLY 3 things. Activities you do or intend to do; things you like/don’t like, and comparisons. That’s it”.

Ugh.  After the “sting” of reality was resolved, something interesting happened. My frustration was also resolved. Even more thought-provoking, the basic Japanese sentences started to flow. After a few days of getting back in the flow (and following a well laid out plan), the subtle hum of satisfaction returned….. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!!!

Now, I understand that learning a necessary skill for daily life and learning a second language (as a cherry on top of an already “able-bodied” life) are NOT the same. However, the optimal mindset to get you to said goal might be (the same).

I can’t even imagine what it might feel like for an adult to hear “you can’t walk, talk, think, recall, speak, listen, “attend”, etc, etc.”.

On the other hand, I can’t think of anything more frustrating than believing you “should” be able to do the aforementioned seemingly simple task….. and “fail”.

As a physical therapist, I have worked with people from ALL walks of life. Including school teachers, mothers, architects, fathers, beauticians, doctors, sales reps, nurses, immigrants, janitors, attorneys, accountants, linemen, former athletes, pet sitters, groomers, and college professors. And I can tell you without a doubt they ALL have one thing in common. They all have a physical, mental, or emotional “limitation”. In most cases, more than one.

Accepting a limitation can be a “gut punch”.  Knowing you have a brain malfunction that has impacted your ability to walk, think, talk, recall, and/or “attend” is the ultimate “gut punch”.

However, believing you can smoothly walk down the street, or fluently speak a language, when you can’t, is absolutely paralyzing.

Are you frustrated? Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you get discouraged when you do your rehab exercises? Do you feel like giving up or question if the goal is worth it?

If so, you are experiencing normal emotions that come along with setting big goals. In fact, I think if you don’t occasionally have these moments, your goals might not be big enough.  However, if it paralyzes you to inaction, it is time to reflect.

Do your expectations align with your stage in the learning process?

Are you trying to talk about philosophy in a foreign language when you can’t consistently put together basic sentences?

Or…..

Trying to walk smoothly down the street when you can’t consistently stand for 3-5 seconds on one leg? Are you trying to walk without an assistive device when your brain thinks you only have one arm and one leg? (if you know….you know)

Who can you trust to give you an accurate assessment of where you are at in the learning process?

How will you receive it?