“Authentic freedom is actually the freedom of knowing who you are, why you are here, your purpose in life and where you are going when you leave here.” – Wayne Dyer
Confinement. A word (in it’s various forms) used to describe someone with a physical limitation. “She is confined to a wheelchair”. He is “bedbound”. That person is “dis-abled”.
Not until recently did it really hit me as to what this means to the person with the physical limitation. To some, it is literally just that. Confinement. Although I have met others, though “confined,” they seem to live a life of freedom.
Merriam-Webster tells me freedom is the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action.
Imprison, on the other hand, is to confine.
Enter the words of Dwight D. Eisenhower,
“If you want total security, go to prison. There you’re fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking… is freedom.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th US president
“Security” is an invisible security blanket that has a way of making “imprisonment” (aka confinement) seem not so bad.
Security is freedom from doubt, anxiety, or fear. I can’t think of three better emotions to describe life with a physical limitation.
And here we are. Yet another round-a-bout on the road of life.
As a physical therapist, I am supposed to promote “security”. Provide you with a list of “don’ts” to keep you “safe”. And yes, this is important. Full disclosure the worst feeling in the world is to hear a patient utter the “F” word. (if you know, you know 😊 )
But “security” left unchecked, can become the boiling pot. A slowly rising temperature in which one adapts while slowly replacing freedom with a life of confinement. AKA imprisonment.
This week I was making my usual stop at the grocery store when I was greeted by a frail, elderly gentleman seated just inside the door. His warm smile is a reliable, welcoming sight after a long day. I can’t say for sure, but by my estimation, he is seated right there in the same spot rain or shine, seven days a week, for most of the day. I can’t think of a day of the week or a time of day when I haven’t seen him.
Recently, I learned this gentlemen has assumed the same spot for several years. According to an employee, he and his wife of over 60 years were loyal store patrons until his wife passed away. Since then, he has assumed the same spot, with the same warm, welcoming smile. Apparently, he doesn’t have family, hence his self-appointed role as a volunteer store “greeter.”
And now it all makes sense.
You see, the widowhood effect is the increased likelihood of a widowed person to die. Various studies report this effect is higher among men and can range anywhere from 70-90% in the first 3 months after a spouse passes away.
Clearly, the warm store greeter has “beat the odds.” Chosen freedom over security, mitigating the risk of death by a broken heart.
“Authentic freedom is actually the freedom of knowing who you are, why you are here, your purpose in life and where you are going when you leave here.” – Wayne Dyer
I don’t know the frail, elderly gentleman who has warmly greeted me and countless others for over a decade. I have never seen him walk. I am not sure if he drives. I have never even heard him talk. All I know is his reliable friendly “nod” acknowledging my presence.
Living with a physical limitation can sometimes feel like a prison, and I get it. Sitting down at a restaurant could end in “confinement” if you can’t trust your body to get you up. Or walking into a store is no different than walking through the prison gates if you can’t trust your legs to hold you up.
This frail, elderly gentleman could be living out the rest of his days in the security of his home, where he wouldn’t need to fear falling or get overwhelmed by the crowds he must navigate to assume his “position” as resident “store greeter”.
For so many people with physical limitations, the security of staying home feels like the ultimate freedom. But at what cost?
Let me be clear: it is worth repeating that there is a fine line between letting go (slightly) of “security” and putting your safety at risk.
But with that said, here is my question. Are you choosing confinement for a sense of security?
Are there opportunities to expand your world?
Do you turn down the help of friends and family to maintain your “dignity”? Or to avoid fear, anxiety, and worry?
Have you stopped working toward your physical therapy goals because you believe you are “too old”, or “too disabled”?
Years ago, I had the pleasure of helping a woman with a degenerative neurologic condition who wanted to improve her mobility so she could return and volunteer at the nursing home where she once lived.
Her story is not unique. I work with people every day who are fighting for freedom. Freedom to move.
Freedom to socialize.
Freedom to break bread with friends and family.
Freedom to serve.
And
The freedom to live a life they love.
I can’t say for sure how I might respond if I were in your shoes. I would hope that I could take my own words and put them into practice. The truth is, I really don’t know.
Here is what I know, I have worked with people who by all “human and social standards” are “confined.” Yet they are truly living a life of freedom.
I hope if I were in your shoes, I would choose freedom.
My hope for you is that you wake up each day with a renewed spirit to fight the good fight and choose freedom.
That is timely. Today I will go to PT. I’ll be stretched and strained, but unable to raise my leg high enough to go up a stair. But I can still smile, laugh, and enjoy being alive.
Knowing my God will never give me more than I can handle sustains me and allows me to share my joy with others.
You can do it! Thank you for inspiring me and this community. Keep shining His light 🙏
I’ve been there George and know that feeling of fear of stairs and circumventing my leg to “get it up there”. I will pray for you today that you gain the ability to lift that leg a bit more to traverse that next set of stairs or He gives you the strength to endure it as it is.
What an encouragement!! Thank you for being such a valued member of this community! It truly takes a village!
Thank you for reminding me to give myself a hug and a pat on the back. It is so easy to go into GLOOM and DOOM.
Very meaningful article! Inspires one to keep doing what can be done and strive to do more than what can be done. All this, while enjoying what is being done.
Loved it.
Well said! Thanks for sharing this meaningful interpretation! I am sure your words will resonate with this community.
Good morning one and all Even though there are days I wish I could change some things that happened in the past, there’s a reason the rear view mirror is so small and the windshield is so big, where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.i prepare to find my way through the haze and the maze of the vacant gaze of the many Souls along their journey of days
Confinement of the “body physical” is not limited to the extremities solely;
because housed within the physical form is the mind of consciousness and there is considerable suggestion that CONSCIOUSNESS exists outside the body; if,
there is life after death; past lives shape our present realities
we are all connected and made from the same energies;
Devine beings exist to guide us;
there are different levels of consciousness;
there is one all pervading source of love and intelligence;
All-of us in this community have our struggles and challenges as we draw strength from those around us, from both visual and. verbal encouragement, as we manage to cobble and create a new life after the manifestation of our present conditions!
On this journey we realize that our encounters are not without reason! The other day I received a total body massage as a form of therapy. and the masseuse. Is visually challenged; blind!
And she travels over 50 miles a day to and from work: she is an example of being challenged to exceed the expectations of any self imposed limits placed upon our physical boundaries; if i might add this one observation; if one of our senses are diminished the others are enhanced
It seems to ring true in this instance, as the masseuse knew where to focus on my deficits and helped elicit a lessening of tension on my affected side. As well as any compensatory
Involved sensations being relieved
To continue my observations of confinement and challenges, today i drove(yes drove! (adapted) but behind the wheel and my return to driving deserves a future description in itself but just a sunny short road trip of shopping roadside flower stands etc springtime search and a short beach hike and as i said chance meetings serrendipitous or not i walked through some soft irregular sand with AFO and shoes but i felt as if i wanted to go barefoot and internally lamented my condition but,as god will remind us i kept my shoes on because i didn’t want to risk the weak ankle roll and i plodded forward AND as we left the beach we encountered-a women that I verbally saluted for her VETERAN status, she acknowledged the greeting by saying to me “I’m a physical therapist, .And she added “good job that sandy walk is pretty HIGH LEVEL! Keep it up;
So ;i discouraged myself down mentally and GOD provided someone to bring me back up
As well as my encounter with the blind masseuse provided encouragement. And the realization that confinement has its degrees of severity. And we draw strength and ease from realizing the struggles of others can be a reminder to “buck up lad” it could be worse and probably has been so life is all about the prayers that have been answered that we forgot we even uttered in times of distress: because we will all encounter an occassional storm and we can’t tell god when to answer our prayer nor can we tell him how!!
So we reflect on days past; WEATHER DAY
I CAST MY SEA WORN STARE,
THROUGH THE SUN DRENCHED GLARE,
EYES HITCHED UP IN A SQUINT
FENDING OFF GOLDEN GLINT;
I TAKE A TURN AROUND THE COMPASS,
SEARCHING FOR THINGS THAT MIGHT HARM US,
STOPPING AT EACH POINT FOR INSPECTION.
TO THE EAST I NOTE A DETECTION.
IT’S QUITE A DISTANCE, SO FAR.
CLEAR ALL AROUND, BUT THAT TINY MAR.
WONDERING WHAT IT MIGHT BE,
SETTLING TO JUST WAIT AND SEE.
IMPATIENT THE HOUR PASSES,
FINALLY, LOOKING through THE GLASSES,
AT THIS TINY SPOT ON THE HORIZON,
IT GROWS BIG AND IS RISIN
I COME IN FROM THE WING
GIVE THE PHONE A RING
HOLLER TO CLOSE ALL HATCHES
AND DOG DOWN THE LATCHES!
The glass is tapped, oh so low,
I think we are in for a blow
I shaKE MY HEAD-AND WONDER.
IF NEPTUNE WILL RIP US ASUNDER?
THE SKY TURNS DARK,
SHOUTING WINDS I HARK
GIANT STREAKED WAVES PRANCE
IN THEIR RELENTLESS DANCE
THANKFUL FOR MY LAST MEAL
HANGING ON TO THIS WHEEL
TIL THE STORM PASSES BY AND
THE WINDS START TO DIE
BUT UNTIL THEN, I STARE OVER THE BOW,
WONDERING ,PRAYING,IF, WHEN AND HOW
I’LL RETURN TO MY HOME
WHERE MIRTH AND LOVE ARE SHOWN
Because; When god brings us to his doorstep our thoughts of those that love us are a constant reminder of what made our lives tolerable on earth.
Gtc2024
What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing you win!
Arigato sensei; someday i will write to this east-west puzzle; of always doing rather than being!! But first i must learn to BE
!! Soon I will find a way to return to the land of one of my previous lives ; ONLY this time i won’t drink so much plum wine! Gambatte kudasai ;-}
hai! Arigatou! Anata mo ganbatte kudasai! 😊