They say, “live in the moment”. “Be present”. “Focus on the now”.
And yes, there are many moments where this is sound advice. Ruminating on the past is futile, at best. Worrying about the future, is arguably worse.
But what if the present carries an “unbearable load”?
The weight of a seemingly catastrophic health crisis.
The weight of financial depletion.
The weight of societal rejection.
The weight of losing your “soul mate”.
The weight of election results (as I write this on the eve of one of the most significant elections in US history).
Your therapist might suggest that being “present” will alleviate the weight of regret and the anxieties accompanying the uncertainty of the future.
And yes, staying in the moment works most of the time.
But in some instances, there is not a single “breathing technique,” “reframing,” “meditation,” “tapping,” or yoga pose that can outwit the alluring charisma of “catastrophizing.”
In other words, nothing can change the way you feel regarding the unbearable weight of a challenging circumstance.
In these instances, I think it is best to abort “plan A” (“stay in the moment”), and opt for plan B…….. change your position.
I live in Florida, and yes accurately described as the sunshine state. Where the weather is beautiful and….. at time unpredictably “gloomy”.
The other day I returned home from work and went into my bedroom to change into my walking clothes for my usual afternoon walk- one of the highlights of my day. As I entered the room I could see the storm clouds looming through my east-facing window. Mood deflated. The revised plan would now include the “rain sneakers” and the umbrella. I walk rain or shine, but I prefer the shine.
So, I begrudgingly made my way to the living room to procrastinate away a few moments before embarking on what was going to be a soggy, umbrella-toting, non-podcast listening, wet-dog-smelling “enjoyable” afternoon walk. 😊 But I digress.
As I entered the living room, something caught my attention that changed my mood completely. The scene of sunlit trees welcomed me through my west-facing living room windows. And all was right with the world.
This mood shift reminded me of a thought provoking “one-liner” I recently heard…… “change your position, and you will change your perspective.”
Maybe “white-knuckling” the “present” isn’t ALWAYS the best option.
There is a near zero chance that a change in scenery will make a problem worse. But there is a non-zero chance you might find something that sprinkles your soul with a little ray of sunshine in the darkness.
Even something as little as turning 180 degrees from east-facing, to west.
And, be open to looking out from your situation through a different window.
“No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.” ― Ansel Adams, American landscape photographer
Confidence “is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life’s challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly. Being confident requires a realistic sense of one’s capabilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.” – Psychology Today
Here is the point. A literal change in your position CAN change your perspective. But first, you need to believe you have the ability within yourself to move.
It could be as small as moving from your usual seat in your wheelchair to a normal chair at the dining table.
It could be as small moving from talking to someone on the phone, to meeting someone in person.
It could be as small as taking a moment to lay down in the grass and take in the scenery of the sky and away from the lateral “wordly view”.
It could be a farmers market sitting on the outskirts of the crowd, people watching. You will quickly learn the world is full of fascinating characters.
And here is the most important point of all…..
If you are currently at home (not in a nursing home), sitting in a chair (not in bed), and reading this article…… you have the ability to change your position.
And
A change in your position opens the door to a new perspective. A new story that has the potential of something better.
But this doesn’t happen without your consent. A change in perspective requires an open mind to the possibility that there is something good in the world. If you don’t believe it exists, you will never find it.
However, a willingness to open your imagination to the possibilities gives YOU the power to re-write the story.
Are you feeling discouraged? Do you feel anger or resentment about your situation?
Are you feeling frustrated or overwhelmed about a specific challenge?
If so, how will you change your position this week? How will you open your eyes and your mind to see your situation differently from this new perspective?
“Dream delivers us to dream, and there is no end to illusion. Life is like a train of moods like a string of beads, and, as we pass through them, they prove to be many-colored lenses which paint the world their own hue. . . . ” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Nice, Tara. As difficult as some days can be, today for instance, my mantra has been two part:
‘What else ya gonna do?’ Giving up is not an option, so acknowledging the the difficulties that my MS mobility issues present and then try to carry on to the best of my abilities at that moment.
And
Keep on truckin’. Everyone’s carrying a piano on their back of some shape or form. Everyone’s got excuses to quit. When I want to, I force myself to get up and put one foot in front of the other, even if it’s wobbly, unbalanced and slow. What else ya gonna do?
Yes Tony!
Excellent article!