“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” – James Baldwin

The other day I was helping a friend of a friend who requested my guidance to design an exercise routine to lose weight. She wanted me to give her a plan she “could stick to”.

She began with a self-description of being a  “food and couch addict”. She went on to tell me that she “hopes” that this time she can “stick to the plan”.

I provided some general guidelines, but most likely my plan is not going to help her achieve her goal of long term weight loss.

You see, it would require change. Not a change in her behaviors but a change in her thinking………

If you have ever been there, you know what this internal dialogue looks like. “It would be nice to achieve __x__, but…..(insert why it is not that important to you or why it might not work)”.

Maybe you are currently doing this with your neurologic recovery.

You see, neurologic rehabilitation is not for the faint of heart or for the mentally frail. And the hard truth is, at the risk of sounding cliche, if nothing ever changes, everything will stay the same.

But this is not intended to leave you feeling dismayed or disappointed. As much as this might be hard to read, your neurologic injury could be your greatest opportunity.

An opportunity to grow into the person you were always meant to be.

A person with a fortified spirit and mental toughness.

But first,

It requires your consent to change. Not physically (I am confident you want this more than anything in the world), but mentally.

You have to want the desire to be the type of person who believes that positive change is possible. In other words, you don’t even need to be “that person”, but you at least have to want to be “that person”. This is what unlocks the spigot to limitless potential.  Not to mention the opportunity to have some fun along the way. As I write this, I can’t help but reminisce on my childhood days staring at the clouds wondering what it would be like to sit on the fluffy “chair” in the sky. But I digress. 

Unfortunately, this is where I and many others have sometimes “dropped the ball”. We want “the change”, without changing. And unfortunately, that is not the way life works. New levels bring new challenges that will require a more fortified foundation.

So let me start with the bad news about neurologic rehabilitation. There is no guarantee that you will make a full recovery. And, I can only imagine that this uncertainty of the outcome is uncomfortable. Hence, many will quit or become complacent long before they have reached their full potential.

And I can say without a doubt that there are many effective neurologic interventions that can’t be explained by “science.” In the same breath, there are many things that have claimed to be “effective” via the “science” (that people spend hours on) that don’t move the needle.

But why????

My only explanation is this…. Some want “the change” without changing.

After 22 years of observing those who continuously improve after a neurologic injury, my takeaway is that some are willing to courageously and consistently perform under pressure (ie: step into the uncertainty of the outcome daily). This is the definition of mental toughness.

But courage alone is not enough. It requires work. Not physical work, though that is important, spiritual and cognitive work.

Work to renew your mind daily. Washing it clean of the negative self talk that is holding you back….. “I should”, “I deserve”, “I can’t”……  and replacing it with “I can”, “I will”, “I am….”.

If that is not your natural tendency, welcome to the club. As a self-proclaimed work in progress, I have a tendency to highlight my limitations long before the “strengths” rise to the surface.

But here is the good news: YOU can change. You CAN rewire your brain to believe in your own abilities to create positive changes in your life.

But it starts with the desire to want to be different.

So, take a chance. Put on the rose colored glasses. Let your imagination run wild. Be “that person”.

And you never know, you just might achieve the seemingly impossible. But more importantly, regardless of the outcome, you will discover you are tougher than you thought and more capable than you originally imagined. 

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” – James Baldwin