Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you Matthew 7:7
“I want my old life back”.
This is not an uncommon response when I am talking with a patient about their goals. And I get it. When you feel like something is stolen from you, it is only natural to have a burning desire to get back what is rightfully yours.
I don’t think I am being dramatic when I say 100% of the people, I work with, have had something “stolen”. A physical injury of any kind will result in some loss of mobility. A loss of mobility will result in “loss” of life (in some area). And of course, the natural response is to get that “life” back. As an observer, the younger you are, the more apparent this tendency might be.
Life goals are a critical component of rehab and of life. Goals give us direction. Goals can give us the motivation to persevere through challenges along the way. Long story short, goals are necessary for growth.
But Houston we have a little problem.
Goals can also leave us disappointed.
Unrealized goals can leave us feeling like a failure; question our faith; question our creator.
And the greatest tragedy of all, cause us to quit.
Awe yes, the unrealized goal. The thing we want so badly that seems like it’s forever out of reach. My mind is reminded of an old parable.
Parable of the man on the rooftop
There is an old parable that recounts a story of a town that was met with a great flood.
The people of the town either fled to higher ground or to the roof of their house.
As the story goes, a man was stuck on his roof praying for God to save him. He was losing hope that he would survive. At that moment, a women in a kayak appeared and offered to help.
The man responded, “don’t worry about me, I prayed to God and he is going to save me.”
The waters continued to rise and the man continued to pray for God to save him.
A few moments later, a fishing vessel appeared and offered to save the man but again the man refused.
The waters continued to rise and now the man is crying out to God, praying that He save him.
A few moments later a cruise ship appears and offers the man a spot on the ship. And again the man refuses. He continues praying believing God will save him.
The flood waters continue to rise and the man unfortunately drowns.
When he meets God he asks, “God, I prayed faithfully, why didn’t you save me?”
God responds, “I sent three vessels. Each vessel larger than the previous vessel in the case that you might have missed the first, however you refused to be helped by them.”
Yes, goals are a tricky thing. Add to that words like faith, divinity, prayer, “healing”…….etc. Now we have a cake full of necessary ingredients that us mere mortals can’t possibly understand.
In the 80’s a young man named David Muir was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy and eventually lost the ability to breath on his own and required a ventilator. This required a tracheostomy (a hole in the throat that delivers oxygen to the lunges). A tracheostomy means that air does not pass the vocal cords so you are unable to make sound. So, family and the medical team either get really good at reading lips or use other ways to communicate.
David Muir was NOT ok with this. So, using his engineering background, he developed a valve that allows air to pass over the vocal cords enabling people with a tracheostomy to talk. Game. Changer.
Now, the Passy-Muir valve is standard practice for many patients on a ventilator.
Whether you are someone that believes in a higher power or not, here is what I know for sure.
God is working all things out for the good.
And the moments and seasons you and I choose to believe this, we will see it.
Maybe your goal is to eventually return to work. But maybe for this season, you are meant to enjoy the time with your family.
Maybe your goal is eventually to walk, but for this season (on the road to returning to walking) you are meant to allow your spouse to have the joy of helping you.
Maybe you can’t put on your shirt, and for this season you are gifted to design a new type of shirt for people with disabilities.
Maybe you have some gift that has not yet been revealed.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you” Matthew 7:7
What areas of your life might there be something good going on (in your life) but you are blinded by some other goal?
WONDERFUL! THANKS DR.TARA–I REALLY NEEDED THIS TODAY!!
Hi Carol! I am so glad that this one was helpful! Don’t give up!
So helpful today. I needed that at this moment. Proves God is working. Thank you for your service to others. I’m struggling but your words of encouragement and advice on exercises and movement has helped me. Thank you.
Thanks for the message. As my wife Jan’s caregiver, I see her frustration with her stroke condition. At 83, her goal is walk, but a bone on bone left knee is making that goal hard as the left is the good leg
Hi Dr. Tobias! It was great meeting you last August! I am very thankful for your reminder to truly appreciate how far I’ve come thus far and the encouragement to continue moving forward with eyes wide open for opportunities God may present! I’ve been diligently working on the program you designed for me and I’ve really been improving. Thank you so much! Blessings to you!
Hi Erin! Thank you so much for sharing this! I am so glad to know you are making progress! Keep going!
Perfect! I enjoy reading your weekly essays of wisdom. I KNOW all things come in due time but lots of doubts and frustrations along the way. It’s hard for me and my family and friends to understand why I just don’t heal and return to “normal” after 15 months of therapy. It’s an emotional struggle at times but I fight off negative thoughts to celebrate every step I take – even with a cane. Thank you!
The reason behind life’s struggles can be hard to rationalize. I am so glad you are able to shine light on the emotional struggles that are inherent with any type of health challenge. Keep celebrating the wins and looking for the blessings in the little things 🙂 You got this and I am cheering you on from afar!
Thank you
My pleasure. I hope it can give you some hope and inspiration.
This message hit home for me! God us good in whatever season we’re experiencing.
I keep adapting to life’s changes and challenges with MS since diagnosis in 2000.
I am so glad! Thank you for sharing! Keep going! You ARE making progress!
Thank you, I needed this today.
Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts. I am so happy that my thoughts on these difficult topics are being well received. Please know that I am cheering you on every step of the way!
Dr.Tara,thank you for the true and encouraging words.PSALM 55:22 says “Cast your burden upon the Lord and he will sustain you”.In the Greek the word for “burden” means “that which He has given you” or “gift”.I am to take this gift (a stroke) and accept it from the hand of God and give it back to the Lord Jesus Christ. Trust Gods word,”My grace is sufficient for thee”,2Cor. 12:9 and draw upon His strengthening grace and use it for God’s glory,Phil.4:13 “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME”.
Have a BLESSED DAY Dr. Tara
Patrick
I always appreciate your articles (and videos) which reorient me towards renewed acceptance, hope, and purpose. Thanks Tara!
Thank you for this. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Peace and Joy to you
I am so glad you found this one helpful Marie! Keep going!
So glad I came to know Christ twenty-some years ago. Dealing with a debilitating sclerosis on a daily basis is a challenge, but I’m able to stay positive and maintain hope knowing God will be never give me more than I can handle
Yes George!
Thank you all for sharing. It has been a blessing to my life and my stroke challenges. Knowing that GOD has a purpose for each challenge in our life. He always does more than one thing.Keep lifting him up by Praising him, Thanking him, and Worshipping him as often as possible.