I spend my days helping people just like yourself solve “problems”. Its the part of my “job” I love the most.
You see, when I was a kid I would intentionally take things apart just so I could figure out how to put it back together.
And though, I believe it was a foreshadowing of the direction I would go in life, I am not convinced it was meant to be applied to every area of life.
There are times, circumstances, and seasons when the best “problem to solve” is practicing how NOT to solve the problem.
Yes, pausing, reflecting, and maybe even accepting.
I have tried to do this periodically throughout my life and I always come back with the same general theme….. We – you, me, and all of creation – have been uniquely designed to live the life we were created for. Full stop.
In other words, you are NOT (always) a project to be “fixed” or a problem to be “solved”.
And this is my new-ish outlook on January first.
January first is symbolic. It can signify a new beginning, a fresh start, and somewhat of a “house cleaning”.
But here is where I think most people go astray and might be the biggest reason most humans don’t keep their “new year resolutions”…….
You can’t bring in the new “furniture”, if you do not sell off some of the old.
You can’t create new habits, with your old way of thinking.
You can’t eat healthier foods, with old thoughts that lead you to prefer to eat the foods you know weren’t serving you.
You can’t start exercising, with old thoughts that lead you to hit the snooze button (insert your deterrent of choice)
You can’t grow (in rehab, career, relationships..etc) with all the thoughts that caused you to stop growing in these areas in the first place.
All that said, January 1st might be better utilized as a day on the calendar when you allow the “hype” to pass you by and look inward. And instead, focus on pausing over and above pursuing.
Why aren’t your relationships working?
Why do you do the things you know aren’t healthy and avoid doing the things you know will make you feel better?
Why do you avoid the often times “boring” and repetitive exercises for something more “exciting”?
Why do you self-sabotage when new opportunities come your way?
What is causing you to allow the hum of envy, bitterness, and/or resentment play in the background of your thoughts?
Whether you are 20 or 70, that “hum” is not serving you.
And
You can do something about it.
You can’t go back and change the past, but you can create a new ending.
Accept the past. It is part of your story.
But you were designed for more.
You were designed to be a light in someone else’s world.
You are a perfectly created human by a loving God who has known you and loved you from the beginning.
He knew every decision you would make and He has had a perfect plan from day 1.
But the hard truth is, we were born into a fallen world. And because of that, we will continue to make mistakes and have regrets until our last breath.
But even that, God foreknew and has been preparing your way forward.
Going back and attempting to “change the past” is not possible. So, instead, accept where you are at.
Then and only then are you free to create the ending God created you for. Your story isn’t finished!
But first, spend this month letting the hype pass you by.
Pause….
And maybe February first is the day when you get after that habit or “hang up” with a fresh mind and a renewed way of thinking.
You ARE a new creation, created in the image of God to do good works. 2 Cor 5
You got this! And I am cheering you on every step of the way!
More articles you might be interested in:
The Placebo Effect
“Just as thoughts are the language of the brain, feelings are the language of the body. And how you think and how you feel create a state of being. A state of being is when your mind and body are working together. So your present state of being is your genuine...
The victory speech
If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it. Muhammad Ali “Always tell the truth”. Something most of us have been told from an early age. With that said, I have a slight aversion when it comes to “grandiose” personalities. You know...
External Factors: Necessary, but not sufficient
“Mind is the master power that moulds and makes, and man is mind, and evermore he takes the tool of thought, and, shaping what he wills, brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills. He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass. Environment is but his looking-glass.”...
Designed for more
If you made a New Year’s resolution and haven’t yet “fallen off the wagon”, congratulations. You are part of the “9% club”! Awe yes, New Year’s resolutions. In theory, they seem fantastic. According to a recent report the top 3 resolutions are related to finances,...
What “success” looks like…..
Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming. John Wooden Not a week goes by I do not sit face to face with someone expressing a sense of "overwhelm". "Just tell me...
Radical Acceptance
“Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.”― Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart...
Self-Discipline Isn’t Enough
All the energy in the universe is evenly present in all places at the same time. We don’t get energy, we release energy. And the triggering mechanism to release energy is desire. When you have a strong desire to do something, you will always have the energy to do it.”...
New Year, new you…..stop the insanity….
“Self-discipline is often disguised as short-term pain, which often leads to long-term gains. The mistake many of us make is the need and want for short-term gains (immediate gratification), which often leads to long-term pain.” ― Charles F. Glassman, Brain Drain –...
2023 You, Is Just Fine……
“The key to finding happiness in this life is realizing that the only way to overcome is to transcend; to find happiness in the simple pleasures, to master the art of just being.”― Brianna Wiest I bought into the hype. Yup, about two weeks ago, I started my list of...
We have “hope” all wrong……
“Hope” is a virtue that can be a good foundation to propel us forward. In fact, I think it is essential for living life in a “broken” world. Yes, the world is broken. Humans are fallible. And because of this, bad things happen to good people. Evil does not...
Amen 🙏 thank you for this reflection, it gives me the desire to start again with my therapy and to do what is possible, I know God is doing the impossible. Thank you for this new motivation. I would like to start this year with a good program, I am doing my home therapy with the exercises that I learned from my therapists.before Covid, since then I do it at home.
Blessings
Hi Maria! Thank you so much for sharing your story! You got this! All starts with the desire to change!
I had a stroke 2 years ago. I use a walker to walk and have trouble talking. Thank you for your encouraging message!
Inspirational. I wish I could give expression to how I needed this.
Inspirational. Thank you.
Hi Dr. Tobias…Saying “thank you” just does not say enough for the wealth of direction I have received from you; PT and inspirational. It may not hold much creadance with some, but, to me, you are one of the best friends a person can have. Just watching your Youtube vids for PTs moves me forward from the stroke effects I have “acquired” nearly 3 1/2 years ago. Your “musings” hit home often. Thank you for the reminders.
You have a way with instructing that is beyound beneficial. God certainly had it right with His gifts to us of Tara Tobias for which I am particularly grateful. I am nearly 78 and, although handicapped somewhat, I am always excited about what tomorrow will bring.
I do have a working relationship with a local therapist 2-3 times a week, plus my “dailies”. I have partnered this with the guidance I receive from you. The work you folks do is absolutely increadible.
Thank you, Dr. Tobis.
Hi Tom, your words are humbly received. I am happy to know these articles and the videos are helping you. I am also so happy that you continue to fight the good fight and strive to reach new heights! Keep going!