“Life tests us like gold in a furnace, but the fire only purifies, never destroys.” — Unknown
There is no greater “furnace” in life than losing your mobility.
Whether you are 30 or 70 coming to terms with losing a physical ability that enabled you to do the things you love doing can be challenging.
Unless that is, you are choosing to do everything you can to restore it.
Choosing to fight the good fight of recovery is arguably more difficult. Mentally and physically.
The daily battle of fighting for the physical “wins”.
While at the same time finding the balance.
The balance between acceptance and perseverance.
The balance between hope and reality.
The balance between being “future focused” while “presence-minded”.
The balance between joy and peace while agitated by the need for more.
The presence of fire in the purification of gold is the perfect metaphor for life after a neurologic injury. Fire can burn a house down. And yet, when in the confines of a furnace, it purifies a coveted precious metal.
Gold is the debris of dead stars forming the core of the earth (in part). But if the story ended there, gold wouldn’t be accessible.
For humans to extract this precious metal from the earth, gold “needed” agitation from asteroids hitting the earth bringing it to the surface. And yet, gold is not pure until it is refined by fire.
All my life I have struggled in school. I remember being envious of my sister, who rarely had to study and maintained a 4.0. This envy continued throughout college when I spent most of my waking time studying (just to “hang on”) while my peers were spending their waking hours enjoying all the “perks” of the college experience (and academically “thriving).
Fast forward to today, I am so grateful for having had the struggle. I developed skills that serve me well today. But more than that, I am an expert at failing. But that is a can of worms for another day.
Recovering your mobility and your independence is hard. Both physically and mentally.
Failure is part of the game. Wanting more is part of the game. As are disappointment and fear when the “more” seems elusive.
And,
You are being refined by fire and WILL emerge a better and more capable version of yourself. And just maybe that future version was who you were always meant to be.
For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; you laid a crushing burden on our backs; you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance. Psalm 66: 10-12
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