“Showing up” everyday is hard. There is so much resistance. The sheets lure you into just a few more minutes in the warm, cozy hug of the duvet. The mind-numbing scrolling is an alluring distraction from the blank word document. The slight back ache justifies skipping just one day in the training plan. And, of course, the elephant in the room, this neurologic damage makes it ALL impossible. So, what’s the point of even starting?
Insert any number of self-limiting thoughts into that last bucket, and welcome to a day in my life……
Full disclosure, I have a strong pull toward laziness. This goes back to my earliest memories. Yup, I have been an “anti-hard-work” advocate most of my life. Oh wait, I take that back. I have been an “anti-not-fun-hard-work” advocate……… Give me a project that involves building, painting, or “crafting”, and I can work for hours. But I digress.
If you can’t relate, you have my deepest respect and admiration. If discipline came in a pill, there isn’t a price in the world that would deter me.
But if you share my struggle, I have some great news. If I can do it, ANYBODY can do it.
Do what exactly?
Show up. That’s it. I am an advocate of showing up.
You see, I recently stopped “working” on getting to some arbitrary end goal. Because, spoiler alert, we will all end at the exact same destination.
Now, before you label me depressing, pessimistic, or uninspiring, I would like to defend this idea before getting to the meat of how to become a life-long “grower”.
Life will end. This is fact.
And
For those who believe, a perfect, eternal home in heaven is awaiting our return. Without this hope, “the grind” will remain attached to an arbitrary pursuit toward something in the earthly realm that, if we are honest, we know we will eventually be separated from.
But with that said, “laziness” (describing my own tendencies) is NOT what we were created for. We were created to “work out our salvation”. We were created to grow in maturity of character, love, and service to the divine. Not that I have achieved this, but I continue to press on.
But how do you “show up” with all of the resistance?
Enter BJ Fogg’s model of behavior change (aka: showing up when you don’t feel like it).
Fogg’s model acknowledges that “showing up” is a challenge for ALL humans. And therefore, we must have a system that can propel us over the threshold of inaction.
It involves a three-leg base of support. Motivation, ability, and prompts.
First, you need something that motivates you. The best motivation is something that is attached to your values and beliefs. As an aside, the fundamental belief needs to be that you can achieve the thing you are working toward. But as far as the values, this is something unique to each individual. If you value spending time with family or your community, this can be a powerful motivator to get started on the behaviors to learn the skills that would allow you to do this.
Identifying intrinsic and extrinsic motivating factors (for you) is also of value. Intrinsic motivation is better for long-term goals, whereas extrinsic motivation might be suitable for short-term goals.
But beyond our beliefs and values, humans are motivated by our fundamental human needs. Sensation, anticipation, and belonging.
Sometimes we can get our motivation from the way a behavior makes us feel (sensation).
Anticipation taps into thoughts of the potential outcome. Either the fear or benefit of an outcome (ie: health, relationship, financial..etc).
And our need for belonging can be leveraged when we want to make our family member proud or inspire others.
The second leg of the metaphorical table of taking action is ability.
Short and sweet. Break. It. Down. I have been preaching this for as long as I have been a physical therapist. Make it super simple. Choose one or two exercises. Do them every day.
If you are trying to eat healthier (and your diet consists of 90-100% processed foods), commit to starting each meal with a glass of water and 1 whole, unprocessed food. Keep it simple.
If your goal is to walk 10k steps and you are currently under 500, commit to adding 500 steps.
Set yourself up for success.
It would be cruel to give a 5 year old algebra and demand he/she do it. Similarly, don’t put demands on yourself that you know you are currently incapable of doing consistently.
And finally, have prompts. Something that triggers you to engage in the behavior.
This can be an alert on your phone. Or setting your workout clothes next to your toothbrush the night before. Or have your walking sticks next to your keys/by the door. Or, join our membership, where you can set alerts to log into the exercise library and do your exercises 😊
Motivation.
Ability.
Prompts.
If you have reached this point, I know you have what it takes. I know you believe you are capable of more. I know you have the desire to be better. I know you have the discipline to make it through my musings 🥰 .
But more than that, I know you are ahead of the 99% who choose to do nothing.
I am far from what I believe is “my best”. And that’s ok. I am learning to enjoy the process. And be proud of myself for showing up. And hopefully in the process, use my success and failures to help someone else.
That said, most days, despite the voice in my head, I show up. I get up. I open the blank document and stare seemingly with an empty head. I ignore the pain and put my shoes on. And, I do the thing in spite of my sense of inadequacy. It’s not about being “perfect”. Life is about fighting the good fight and letting God do the rest.
He loves you. He is fighting for you. And HE WILL carry you to completion.
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